Category: tv-movies

Sci-Fi’s Flash Gordon

I’m old enough to remember watching the old 1980 film Flash Gordon. I liked it. I still do. As a matter of fact I watched it a couple of weeks ago and found the hammy acting and horrid “special effects” nostalgic and amusing. Ming was as cliché a villain to ever touch the silver screen. Zarkov was suitably eccentric for a run-of-the-mill mad scientist. Vultan was the perfect boisterous warrior just waiting for his moment to strike. HOWEVER…

Sci-Fi’s new Flash Gordon series is just bad. I managed to eke through three or four episodes trying to give it a chance. I know that starting a new story requires a little time to set up the world and the characters. But the blasphemy they’ve done to a cult classic is just wrong. Yes, I know that Flash started as a comic and has enjoyed a long run of radio shows, movie serials, and various live action and animated television series before now. But the Flash Gordon that most people today will remember is the movie from 1980.

They’ve turned Zarkov from a brilliant yet eccentric lunatic into a fidgety, bumbling, cowardly parody of a man. A man that creates devices that don’t work. Great work, guys. Flash is a track star…a far cry from the football all-star he was in the movie. Dale has been turned into Lois Lane a-la Smallville and Ming looks like some James Bond-esque euro-trash villain. Absolutely brilliant.

Now production is decent. The special effects are right up with what you’d expect from a Sci-Fi TV series and the camera work isn’t bad. The title theme is a cover of the 1980 movie theme by Queen. But after that it’s all down hill. The dialogue is stiff and uninspiring as are the characters. While the movie didn’t make any history for a quality script, there were engaging characters. I haven’t had such an effect with this series. What I see here is a bunch of cardboard cutouts from all the worst written paperbacks to ever grace the trash can.

At the very least I would have hoped for something bad enough to be enjoyable much like the Rocky Horror Picture Show. But sadly all we are rewarded with for spending our Friday’s watching this is a lost hour that could be used getting the lint out of our navels. At least that would have had something positive about it.

Transformers

I watched Transformers yesterday. I went in with a carefully guarded hope that Michael Bay had managed to not destroy one of my favorite shows from my childhood. Let’s face it, more often than not such undertakings are met with near universal disgust at the result…Super Mario Brothers comes to mind. With that said, I’ll fill you in on my take of the overall movie while trying not to include spoilers.

I’ll start with the previews. They lend the opinion of a near non-stop action flick. This isn’t the case. There are a myriad of side stories that take place throughout the movie that I found engaging. The writers did a good job at telling stories of the different people drawn into the conflict even if their characters weren’t quite as fleshed out as they could have been. Some of them offer humor while others touch the heart (and quite possibly can be construed as commenting on current world affairs a bit). The pace of the movie starts out a bit on the slow side but it doesn’t really feel like it’s dragging. As things accelerate, you find yourself being swept into the frantic battles with little sense of transition from the slower events that happened earlier on.

Now, I can’t say the movie should get glowing reviews…it wasn’t all a cakewalk. There are characters that were quite obviously put in for the younger audience…The Section 7 officer comes to mind rather quickly. I’m certain that was his whole purpose for existing in the movie…to add a little of that ‘weekday Nickelodeon almost-teen’ show feel…fan service for the kids that don’t remember the original Transformers TV show. There is also little things like the way some body panels on the Autobots will split when they transform into robots, yet you see no lines between those panels when in car form. Admittedly, it’s nit-picking, but I notice such things. I do have a couple of theories as to how that could work such as their ability to morph those panels or their holographic capabilities…but it’s still something that bothered me.

Finally, let’s talk about the music. It’s the same pop-culture action-flick fare you’ve come to expect. Hard Rock from various bands jams in the background during most of the action sequences. The selections do help with the mood of simple bad-ass butt stomping, but I doubt it will stand the test of time. There is no “The Touch” moment that stands out musically.

And for the record, I was one of the one’s that protested all GM Autobots. Bumblebee is a VW Bug, damnit. But his personality was pulled off with a flare that just matched the Camero while still retaining, as far as I’m concerned, the core Bumblebee character.

Rangers

We live for the One. We die for the One. We walk in the dark places that no one else will enter. We stand on the bridge and no one may pass.