There must be darkness.
This is a natural fact.
There will be darkness.
This is unchangeable.

I am at home here.
I know the darkness.
It long ago consumed me.
I am the darkness.

This is not brooding.
Just a state of being.
I am Jarek Shadowalker.
Darkness is my domain.

I stand in places shrouded.
I see and contemplate.
I stand silent, vigilant.
When needed, I act.

I understand the beast.
I became the beast.
For this reason alone,
I can hold the beast at bay.


The paths always divide
Which fork will be taken
Choose then travel
Another fork

I walk the path
My eyes are open
I look down both sides
I know what can happen

Though I see not over the hill
I see what is in the distance
Maybe this path leads me there
Maybe there is another fork


Sometimes fear takes me
My doubts drown out calming thoughts
I suffer alone

Or put another way…I worry about little things that I imagine are wrong but aren’t. I usually know when it’s just paranoia…but there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t really say anything to anyone or they’d just think I was a little off. It’s irritating…it’s annoying…and what I need is someone to smack me around when I get this way.

Elements and energies

If you don’t normally get a chance to commune with nature, find a way to make time. It’s nothing short of a small miracle the way some well spent time among the elements can bring things back into alignment…back into focus. It doesn’t matter if it’s only for five or ten minutes, every little bit makes things vastly different. No special rituals are required, just sit/stand/lay there and feel the life force of mother earth and her children.

The real trick is to find a suitable place. Everyone has their own mixture of elements that strike a chord with them…resonates with them. That’s what you have to find. When you do, try to get around to spending a little quality time there at least once a year, more often if you can manage it.


It occurs to me that I failed to mention anything about the day’s meaning…a day to truly see all the wonders we have and to appreciate them.

I spent the morning and early afternoon with my mother, youngest sister, daughter, and grandfather. We had a simple turkey and dressing dinner and just talked about all sorts of things. Then I took my daughter back to her mother’s so she could spend some of the day with the other half of her family.

The afternoon was spent with my best friend and his girlfriend on the road to Petit Jean State Park in Arkansas. We got there around 9-ish that night and sat around with his family and just visited for a while. This is about the only time I get to see them so we have plenty of catching up to do. Then it was time to sit by the campfire and just enjoy being with friends, family, and nature.

There is someone I wish could have shared in the entire day with me. I think days like that should be spent with those closest to our hearts. She couldn’t be there, but she was constantly in my thoughts. I’m pretty sure she thought about me once or twice as well. I do have hopes in the direction of her joining me for future holidays…I’m certain she’d get along well with everyone and there’d be lots we could talk about…art, music, technology, movies, humor…the list is extensive. But I digress.

Thanksgiving was a busy day. Hectic and frantic describe several portions of the day. It was a good day, though. I spent it with most of my family and most of the people I care about. I hope everyone else was as lucky.


The wind blows harder
trees dancing all around you
it carries my love


Alone in darkness
Her scent still lingers with me
I miss my angel

The Words

Somewhere you know
deep inside where you hide
the feelings we share

As you wish.

We haven’t used the words
It’s another line to cross
Another fear to face

As you wish.

You won’t face it alone
You have but to ask
You know I’ll say

As you wish.


How long will we dance this dance?
How long will we deny ourselves?
As long as it takes.
As long as you need.

I am not a patient person.
But for you I will wait.
Let the end of days come.
I will be here.

When we finally touch,
Time will stand still.
Angels will weep in joy.
And our souls will soar.

Cloudy in the sky

Another beautiful day from my point of view. Overcast. The light is soft and burns not my eyes. It puts me in a…not melancholy, but rather a calm, peaceful frame of mind. For me, this would be a great day to sit back and cuddle while listening to some easy music. Talking would certainly be an option, but there are points when words are unnecessary and merely clutter a moment.