Category: rants

Comcast Episode Three: Revenge of the Box

Another week and still the high signal issues persist. I figured that since the tech that came out Saturday was one that had been there before and managed to get me fixed back then, I would see some satisfaction. I was wrong. While attempting to watch Good Eats last night I got frozen frames, pixelated video, trilling sound…the full Max Headroom treatment…that culminated in a nice box in the middle of the screen once again informing me that I needed to subscribe if I wanted to watch Food Network. Come on guys, it can’t be that hard to fix a signal problem.

So there I was, on the phone with Comcast yet again. The lady was really nice. I can’t commend their phone reps enough for their great personalities. She couldn’t find my ticket but informed me she was unable to see any that have been escalated. She tried to get someone on the phone from escalation but they wouldn’t answer. This is another area where I have to give kudos. She didn’t just transfer me to their queue and move on to the next caller. She placed me on hold and tried to get them on the phone before handing me off. That failed, though. We settled for an email to her manager and to the escalation team about the problem.

Today’s agenda will include calling Sid and negotiating a reduction in my last bill since I spent roughly 75% of my actual television watching time with either no service or unusable service. I shouldn’t pay for something I just cannot use. Besides, I doubt my tiny little bill will put them out of business if they credit it. As of my writing this, I still have not heard back from the escalation department even though I was assured they would contact me before now. So here’s the lesson boys and girls: Comcast has a great customer service department if you only account for the people that answer the phone when you first call in. Anything after that is a gamble that will most likely end in tears.

Now you may be wondering why I’m still fighting this after all my ranting. I have a daughter that loves Cartoon Network and Nick. If it weren’t for me leaving her TV desolate, I would have dropped Comcast like a bad habit long ago over this. That was then. Now she’s just going to have to get used to the idea of watching DVDs or reading books. I’ve been patient. I’ve been nice. I’ve really tried to work it out and Comcast’s customer service has appeared to sincerely attempt to fix my problems. Their tech support obviously has other plans.

The other part of my dilemma is that even with extensive use of Google, I am unable to find a well written blueprint for replacing a set-top box and cable television with a PC and broadband. This will be my next endeavor. There needs to be a simple and concise article written on the ways you can substitute internet television for cable. I’m thinking a modular blueprint so you can add or skip sections based on what you actually want to do with it. I want to get my normal shows on my HDTV, use the HTPC as my DVD player, home theater amp (5.1 surround), and set-top box. The ability to stream media from my iMac and/or Vista laptop will be a bonus.

No More iPhone Gripes!

By now most everyone on the planet has heard about Jobs’ keynote at WWDC. The new iPhone has GPS, 3G, and better battery life. It will be sold in 22 countries around the world starting with the initial release on July 11. AT&T is still the US exclusive carrier right now and they are offering it for $199 (8GB) and $299 (16GB). This is all awesome news. However, there is also a lot of griping on the intarwebs about the price hike of the AT&T data plan. It’ll be $10 more a month. I want to say something to the honking noises of the masses on this.

The total cost over the 2 year contract will be $40 more than it is now. That’s $200 off the price of the phone and $240 added back for the data plan price increase. Some people have felt the need to moan about how we are getting screwed by this new way of charging us and that the new deal isn’t actually a deal at all. I disagree. The phone has newer and more efficient hardware. The device is now fully 3G capable. It has a full GPS built into the unit. I’m pretty sure the market value of these changes equates to more than $40. So guess what, we’re still getting a deal on the phone…more of one in my opinion. If you don’t like it…go buy a RAZR. I paid $400 for my Tilt with a 2 year contract. The iPhone does almost all of the same things now in a much smaller package. Not to mention it is a far better media player than my Tilt.

I can’t understand what drives people to concoct these ludicrous conspiracy theories every time a corporation makes any kind of change. It’s just as bad as people whining about Windows security for a decade and then bitching because Vista takes on a security model not unlike that of Linux. Sure the Vista implementation is a little rough around the edges and always in your face when you try to install software or change system settings. Remember the market for Windows machines, though. These aren’t the people that are going to do a Stage 1 Gentoo install over an entire weekend. It has to be more intrusive because Microsoft has to deal with a lower common denominator of computer savvy.

This is the problem with the masses. You take things in the worst possible light at every possible opportunity. Relax a bit and just imagine what the iPhone might have cost if Jobs had decided to keep the same deal with AT&T. The iPhone could easily have been more expensive with the same plans. At least this way you aren’t forced to cough up the extra dough up front. You get to spread it out in micropayments made over the 2 year contract. So sit down, shut up, and be thankful there’s a plan in place to get more iPhones in more hands. The more we see on the market, the more applications we’ll see to make the iPhone an even better communication tool.

Comcast Episode Two: Attack of the Fuzz

There I was, minding my own business. It had been a long day at work but the week was now over. I had made it to Friday night. Supper was eaten and the dishes put away. All I had to do was relax on the couch with Doctor Who. The episode teaser was intriguing. The Doctor has a daughter?

The show started and I was instantly mesmerized by the images on the 50″ plasma. Say what you will, but I like the way Doctor Who stories are presented. I like the writing. I like the acting. It’s probably my favorite show next to Good Eats (and nobody can top that one). But there was a problem. Max Headroom syndrome was starting again. It was a little spastic, but it was there…probably nothing to worry about.

Then it grew more pronounced. By ten minutes into the show I was having full blown half-second scene repeats. But it’s fine, I just want to see the show so I switch to the SD channel since HD was obviously on the fritz. The signal is so bad it’s like watching TV on rabbit ears attached to a 10″ tube set made in the 50’s. It’s during a commercial so I switch to another station to make sure it isn’t just a SciFi problem. Nope. Every channel is covered in more fuzz than a lint catcher.

But it’s fine. I just want to see Doctor Who. I can make out the picture and I can hear the voices. It’s good enough. So I switch back to SciFi. Instead of the show I get a box that declares I must subscribe to SciFi if I want to watch it. Now I know my bill is paid and everything is in good standing. So I switch to a local station…same message. Something is horribly wrong. I reboot the box.

Joy! The signal is still bad but I can watch SciFi again. I’ve missed about 6 minutes of the show, but that’s alright. I just want to watch the rest of it. Unfortunately it blinks a minute or two in and brings me back to the subscribe message. By this time I’m on the phone with Comcast. The first call was pointless. I described the problem and the lady put me on hold. After waiting on hold for over 10 minutes I hang up and call back. Imagine that, I get someone on the phone right away. She isn’t overly helpful. She said there’s no problems in my area and I should just wait it out and see if it clears up. During all this I get it semi-working again and agree while trying to figure out what’s going on in Doctor Who.

But like a bad poker hand that you just keep getting dealt, it went right back to the subscribe screen. Now if you’ve been following my Comcast posts, you know this is a new DVR. You know that I’ve had new cabling run all over the place during the last year. And you know that Comcast techs should just about rent a house across the street because they are out here that much. So now I’ve missed almost all of Doctor Who. I make a third call. I get a guy this time on the phone. I actually feel sorry for him because I begin venting.

Now I’m not the kind of guy to just completely…ok…yes I am, but I am not so mad that I just burn his ears off. He does understand exactly how irritated I am, though. I get an appointment for Saturday so I won’t have to take a day off work. This guy is being very patient and offering some real help. It’s the first I’ve gotten tonight. So I thank him and hang up. Why? Because I’m busy buffering the episode I just missed on SurfTheChannel. Yep, I’ve found yet another site to replace the questionable service of Comcast Cable.

The tech that came out on Saturday has been to my house before. He remembers the work he’s done in the past and can’t believe they still don’t have it fixed. He tested far more stuff than any other tech and said he’d pass it on to thier senior guy who has been doing this for over 20 years. Actually, today is now Tuesday and I should have an answer as to what the problem is. (There’s a small chance it’s the cable in the walls.) And would you believe the guy told me that part of my problem the previous night was because of an outage? He laughed and shook his head when I told him the lady on the phone put me on hold to check with her supervisor to see if there was an outage and she assured me there was not one. Get it together Comcast.

Oh, after all this complaining, why am I still using their service? My daughter. She’s 11 and is thoroughly attached to Nick and Cartoon Network. While I can shift my viewing habits, I can’t yet bring myself to render her TV into a DVD player attachment just yet. It’s getting there really fast, though.

Comcast Episode One: The Signal Menace

Yep, it’s another Comcast post. The saga continues. I had a tech out Wednesday to diagnose my Max Headroom Syndrome and random HD DVR reboots. Of course, he had to call for some help back at the office because the box reported my cable service had been disconnected. Funny…I recall having paid my bill in full well before the due date and by that point I had not yet received the next bill. Turns out something freaked out but it was a quick fix.

Next was the actual signal problems. As of the time I am writing this, it is roughly the same as when the tech was here. The FDC is at -16 and the RDC is at 57. For those that don’t know, the RDC is high. This is the signal the box sends back to the office. According to the tech that was here this would be the source of my Max Headroom syndrome. He told me all sorts of odd things will happen when the RDC is out of whack. This tells me we don’t have it fixed yet because here it is Saturday and I still have a screwed up signal. And yes, Max Headroom TV is alive and well on my Samsung 50″ plasma.

But it wasn’t like this earlier today. I turned on the television and tried to turn on the cable box. It was unresponsive. After several minutes of playing with buttons I finally got it to respond somewhat. Guess what, it said my service was disconnected again. So I called in and was instructed to reboot the box which would be followed by a signal being sent to it….yet again. It worked but that’s twice in three days. This box is worse than my last one.

I know it seems that I’m constantly ragging on Comcast. And they do deserve it. Nobody should have this many problems for this many months. However I am obliged to say that customer service has been absolutely great. I know that they have shown up pretty high on lists of worst customer service ever but that has not been my experience. Frank and Melissa and Sid and the ladies that answer the phones locally have been kind and attentive to all of my calls. If Comcast could get their engineers to be as reliable as these people then their service would be tops. Unfortunately, their cable service around here sucks and is vastly overpriced for the intermittant and flaky reception.

This week is Comcast’s last chance. I’ve been patient but I will not continue to pay for this junk I’m receiving. They don’t offer an HD DVR that works. It’s all the same schizo model with the same shoddy firmware. They still charge too much for cable service when there are free options available on the internet. Customer service is not a reason to pay for crap. So thanks Frank and Melissa and Sid, you’ve been great and I can’t say thanks enough for the time and effort you’ve devoted to one single customer but your company just isn’t making things right. You did right by me but the techs and engineers have dropped the ball enough that I’m down to giving them this last chance.

This is Nunzio from Comcast…

So I got my call from “the local leadership” this afternoon. His name was Sid and we had a nice long talk about things. Apparently Melissa and Sid went over all of my emails and my previous Comcast blurb (Guido part 1) before he got in contact with me. They get points for being thorough. The wonderful thing about that is that he already knew what my issues were and had time to review my service and some options so we didn’t waste all that tedious time rehashing everything I’ve already talked about.

I didn’t know this right up front, of course. So I asked him to summarize what he knew about the situation already. He was surprisingly accurate. I mean accurate to the point that I was wondering if maybe I should check all of my systems for signs of tampering or monitoring. Okay, not really but I was highly impressed. He even took the initiative to take the stations I listed and compared them to the current packaging plans. Guess what…with all of the changes they’ve made in my area, I did not know that the stations I watched were all available in a lower priced plan now.

Of course that isn’t anything to be shocked over. They have eleventy billion customers and there’s no way they could make sure everyone single one of them was aware of how every plan shift affects their needs. I’m not really upset about that; I’m happy that he spotted it. So we talked about the ways we could change what I have to lower my bill but still let me have all the service I want. I didn’t get all my HD and DVR goodness for $30 a month, but we did manage to cut my overall bill for cable and internet by about $50. That’s nothing to sneeze at. So I agreed to keep my Comcast cable television service just a bit longer to see how that works out.

One thing I did enjoy was that he seemed very interested in my idea of a-la-carte packaging. We actually developed it a bit further into an idea that would have fewer hurdles to overcome than a 100% a-la-carte service. Try this idea: Have a small basic package (local channels and whatnot) with add-on options of semi-premium channels. This isn’t quite like the HBO or Cinemax add-on, though I suppose it could be done that way. But the idea is you get the basic package for say $10 a month. Then you add Sci-Fi for $1.45 a month and maybe even a group like HGTV, DIY, and Food Network for $2.30 a month. This way you don’t pay for the unholy legion of channels you never use and have no interest in, your bill is smaller, and the networks you dislike aren’t making money off your service. Win-Win-Win…oh…and Win because such a move would position Comcast at the forefront of the next iteration of cable service. They would be offering the iPod of cable television.

(Begin idea to rant transition…but before I do…I just want to say thanks again to Sid and Melissa ^_^ )

Of course if they aren’t careful, FIOS or U-verse may snatch up the idea and steal what could be a revolutionary move in the old industry. Time moves on and things have to evolve. Digital instead of analog isn’t really the leap forward I mean, either. That’s just a style of delivery. The entire service is due for an overhaul because the times have been changed enough by the internet and daring start-ups…so much so that people now expect to have granular choices. Look at iTunes. I no longer have to buy an entire crap CD for one song that is good. I can just get that song and leave the crap out of my library. I can get one disc of a TV series from Netflix if there is only one or two episodes I want to see. I don’t have to go out and buy the entire thing.

Everyone else seems to get it Mr. Cable Industry. When are you?

Welcome to Comcast, this is Guido. (Part 2)

So if you read the previous post, then you know that roughly four hours after I hit the “Publish” button…I got a response from someone at Comcast in the form of a comment on the post. The comment solicited and email on my part going further in depth on the sources of my frustration with cable television. I have decided since the experience was as nice as it was…I would share most of the email conversation I had with “Melissa M”.

Now, before I get to the emails, let me just say that finding out Comcast has a digital ninja squad that found my blog post four hours after it hit the intarweebs is a little disturbing. As much as I would like to see SBR ranked up there with WWdN, TechCrunch, Scoble, and others…my poor efforts only net me about 50 or so hits a day (and most of those are the AT&T Tilt posts). See how that might make one a little nervous? Anyway, after the initial shock at getting a response, I fired off an email that was kindly worded and lightly seasoned with humor.

Melissa M.,

Thank you for your offer of assistance, though I doubt you will be able to help me realize my suggestions. I was serious about what I was willing to pay. Anything more than $30 a month is just too much for HDTV with DVR. Cable prices have been inflated to the point of feeling like a mafia shakedown as I mentioned in my post. For the privilege of watching a bare handful of channels, I get to hand Comcast well over $1000 a year. That is insane.

From a marketing perspective, I can understand the emphasis on “over 300 channels” or “over 600 channels” or even “over eleventy-hundred channels”. However, the reality is of all these channels you provide me, I watch less than 10. You are making me pay for content I am not interested in and will never use. Now, being in the IT industry I understand the technical complications of changing to a format where one could buy a package of X channels and would then get to choose which channels those are. Not to mention that I am quite certain the stations would have major problems with allowing you to do so. This would, however be the most wonderful and innovative offer any cable company could provide the consumer.

For example, in my case I would opt for somewhere around 10 channels or the closest package to that number that I could get. My choices would be Sci-Fi, USA, Cartoon Network, Food Network, NBC, The CW, Discovery, and then a few random channels to fill out the remaining slots. See, these are the only stations I watch regularly. And I actually only watch a few select shows on these stations. As long as I have access to Chuck (NBC), Heroes (NBC), Dr. Who (Sci-Fi), Eureka (Sci-fi), Reaper (CW), Good Eats (Food Network), Naruto (Cartoon Network), and Ben10 (Cartoon Network) then I am fine and need nothing more. I threw in Discovery because I like to pick up the random special from time to time.

As for the service itself, well I have many opinions and most of them are bad. We can start with my DVR locking up on a regular basis. The software is obviously highly unstable, unreliable, and unresponsive. The channels change with all the speed of my grandmother strolling through the room with her walker. I quite frequently turn on the TV to find a large black box in the middle of the picture until I bring up the guide. The SD channels look as fuzzy as they did back in the early 80’s on rabbit ears. The HD channels make me feel like I’m watching Max Headroom again. If you are unaware of that reference, it was an early 80’s show of a guy that was supposedly computer generated. He stuttered a lot and frequently froze for a second only to jump forward like a skipping CD or DVD. This is my normal Comcast experience.

I have had technicians out here many times to fix either my internet service (which is about as stable as Tom Cruise) or my HD television (which stutters more than a record player in a dump truck on a gravel road). And in all of these trips, I’ve been graced by mere days (in single digits) of reliable service.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that running a company with a myriad of offerings and locations is a complex task and because of the complexity of the system is prone to hiccups. But unless you can find a way to offer me better HD and a better DVR experience for no more than $30 a month (permanently, not a short lived special price), then I am afraid that internet television (since most stations offer streams new shows) and NetFlix will be the source of my entertainment fulfillment.

Jarek91
http://SoapBoxRants.net

I half anticipated a form letter type response or something that felt cold and impersonal…much like one gets from the Rabid Ninja Customer Retention Squad when one tries to cancel a service. My anticipation chose poorly. Melissa responded thoughtfully and even referenced my Max Headroom joke.

Hello, Michael.

First, kudos for your reference to Max Headroom. I got a kick out of that! 🙂 Second, thank you for taking the time to discuss your concerns regarding the price you pay, the channels you receive and the intermittent digital cable service.

I would like to discuss your matter with leadership from your area. Please reply to this email including your street address, the name on the account, and the best number to reach you. I apologize for inconveniences we have caused. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to make things right.

Best Regards,

So I sent the information feeling a bit more confident about this whole exchange. No, I didn’t think my service a-la-carte would fly, but I wasn’t imagining waking up with a horse head in my bed either.

<no, you=”” can’t=”” have=”” my=”” personal=”” contact=”” information…snipped=””></no,>

Thank you for taking the time to answer my concerns. I would not have thought that Comcast would pay any attention to such a small time blogger as myself. I do have to admit (as I did in Twitter) that it was a little disconcerting to get a reply so quickly after I likened Comcast to the Mafia. I wasn’t aware there was a digital ninja assault squad in Comcast. Seems like it might be a fun job. Your scare tactics, they scare me ^_^

And oddly, of all the problems I experience, I actually get a bit of entertainment from the Max Headroom audio from time to time. I think it has to do with my 80’s youth and my geek/tech background.

Now that I have both ninjas and the Mafia in this conversation, she addressed my curiosity about this elusive division of the cable giant.

Thank you for the information, Michael. And, for the record, whether or not you tied us to the mafia, we would have reached out to you. What my team does, as indicated by my signature, is try to reach the customers who reach out via digital means (high profile blogs such as the Consumerist, Tech Cruch, etc, personal blogs such as yours, internal and external forums, website dedicated to our demise, Twitter, virtually any way a person can choose to vent via today’s digital world). It’s our goal to reach the customers that have been missed or over looked by their local channels and change their Comcast experience. I some times joke with my family that I’m changing the world, one blog/one tweet at a time. But there is truth to that.

I digress. You should expect contact before the EOB today regarding you matter. Please keep me informed and feel free to contact me at any time with this or other matters.

I just want to mention that it’s always great when you get someone that actually shows personality in an exchange with a customer. There is nothing more disheartening than finding yourself dealing with YACD (Yet Another Corporate Drone). This is what customer service should be. Do you hear that Vonage? Yes, I’m talking to you. Fix it and maybe you won’t lose so many customers. Did I mention that I hate Vonage customer service? Anyway, back to the point…

Ahh, with great power comes great responsibility. If one believes only what they read on Consumerist, then one would be inclined to believe that all corporations are evil entities that ultimately want to crush all of humanity into mindless slaves to corporate will. And while I think most companies do need to sit back and evaluate their business practices and corporate focus, it is encouraging to see that some groups within these behemoth organizations do have the right ideals. We just need to get them more power to make the sweeping changes needed in Corporate America.

The exchange continued for a couple of further emails, but I chose not to add them. I want to thank Melissa M. for taking the time to talk with me and I will drop another blurb on SBRÂ once I get my phone call from “the local leadership”. I don’t know where it’s going, but I do know where it’s been…

Welcome to Comcast, this is Guido.

I recently started reviewing my monthly expenses in order to slow the large black hole of doom that was eating my cash faster than I could make it. While looking over the bills, I stopped at the Comcast bill. I’m giving them about $150 a month…and that’s just way too much. I have expanded basic or whatever they call it, the HD tier, a DVR, and internet service. Now as far as watching TV, I only have a couple of shows that really hold my interest. So I set out to think about alternatives.

I wrote about Hulu before here at SBR and that immediately sprang to mind. I ran over to the site to check on what they’ve got these days. Among a great number of old shows (Invisible Man FTW!), they also have Chuck and Heroes and Eureka. That pretty much covers what I watch with the exception of Dr. Who and Good Eats. I have no doubts that I can watch Dr. Who online. I may have to give up on Good Eats, though since it appears Food Network doesn’t have any known intention to offer streaming of their programs. So it came down to watching 5 shows on my HDTV for $150 a month or watching them on my laptop or iMac for $50 a month. Why in the world would anyone give an extra $100 a month just to get a bigger picture. $1200 a year will buy you a really large monitor if it’s that important to you.

So I ask, with the advent of sites such as Hulu and with most of the major networks streaming recent episodes of their shows…why does anyone need to pay the horribly overpriced cable fees? Why do we need to feed that mafia extortion ring any longer? With minimal work you can easily ditch the racket fees and enjoy actually having a little money in your pocket. If you really want to get fancy with it, you can connect your PC/Mac to the TV and watch it there. Heck, you can build your own DVR with almost no work at all these days. What we need to do is send a message to the cable companies. We need to let them know that they charge too much for what really is crappy service and even worse programming. I’ll give them $30 a month for those services…but not a penny more. So if they don’t like it, I’ll be happily streaming my programming without the need to invest in mafia protection rackets.

Why Customer Service isn’t.

I’ve used Vonage as my home phone service for a couple of years now. They’ve been great. I only had one issue and that was back in February 2006 when I first switched and they were able to take care of the problem in a matter of moments. So the service has been wonderful. However, I use my cell phone exclusively now. As a matter of fact, the cordless phone I have connected to my Vonage router has been dead for about 4 or 5 months now. I just don’t use it any more. So why pay the $30 a month?

Thus I attempted to call Vonage last night to cancel this service. I am greeted with an obtuse voice menu. After fumbling through the different menu levels for a couple of minutes I finally find the place where I can cancel my account. The nice recording transfers me over to the department that deals with that…and I get a message with the office’s hours and a request to call back during normal operating hours. Nice.

So I call back today. This time I navigate the menu deftly and get a real person on the phone. He asks me for my name and phone number which I provide. He asks for permission to call me by my first name. Then he asks for my PIN. I don’t have a PIN. He looks at something and tells me that it was generated by their computer. I suggest they ask their computer what it is then because I don’t have it. So he asks me the security question on my account. Apparently I don’t know what my all time favorite movie is. (The Princess Bride for those that are curious.) So he asks some account details and finally concedes that I am actually me. Wonderful.

At this point he asks what it is that I want. I tell him that I want to cancel my account. I was actually surprised because he asked one or two basic questions and didn’t give me some big customer retention spiel that reeked of having been written by a used car salesman in an orange checkered suit. It really looked like I was finally dealing with a company that understood. Of course, he did ask why and I told him that the service was great and I would recommend it to my friends…I just don’t use it personally any more. Nothing more was asked to my further surprise. And then he hit me with it…”I just need to transfer you to another department to finalize the account cancellation. Please hold.”

I listen to hold music and some lady that is way too happy about what Vonage can do for phone service. Eventually a real person picks up. She asks me for my name and phone number which I provide. She asks for permission to call me by my first name. Then she asks for my PIN. Sound familiar? Yep. Apparently they have to verify your identity after putting you on hold. I can only assume that this is because of the threat of being abducted by aliens and replaced with a doppelganger while on hold. There must be some sort of epidemic like this going around. And of course we cannot have alien doppelgangers randomly canceling Vonage phone accounts. The impact of such a thing could throw the entire world into chaos and destruction.

So I go through all of the questions again. Finally she asks what I am calling for. Do these people not bother to forward information when they transfer a call? I understand the need to have in house verification done. I have no problem telling a second person “Yes, I did request to close my account and here’s why…” That’s fine. But don’t make me go through all the identification hoops repeatedly and start completely over every single time I’m put on freaking hold. But wait…it gets better. This lady is the passive aggressive customer retention ninja.

She makes an offer to give me a discount on the service. I decline. I even repeat my reason of not using the service. She replies with “I understand.” Then she offers me a free month. I decline. I reiterate that I only want to cancel the service. “I understand.” Another offer with a bigger discount for a longer period of time. I-

At this point I have to mention that I have been fairly patient even though I am a little irritated at having to start this whole process over after being transferred. Now…buckle your seatbelts kids…

“Lady, I really just want to cancel my account. I will not pay for a service I do not use anymore. I do not want a discount. I do not want a free month. I want this account closed. I want it done right now without any more delays or offers. If you think that might be too hard for you, put me through to your manager so I can get them to do it. And do so without putting me on hold because I am not going to start this whole story over because you guys think I might not be the same guy you talked to 15 seconds ago when you pressed the hold button.”

I know it sounds like I was being a real dick. And you’d be right. I was. But I figure after having proven my identity twice and telling the entire story twice and asking for this one thing over 8 times…I was entitled. Especially since she kept responding with that same phrase of “I understand.” She obviously did not understand because she kept making offers. I cannot abide stupidity. If the guy tells you that the only phone he has hooked up is a cordless and that the battery has been dead for 4 months because he doesn’t use the service…you aren’t going to convince him to stay. Just give it a rest and fulfill the damned request.

She did finally cancel my account. Then she asked if she could “help” me with anything else. Those quotes are not a sexual reference. I don’t really consider what she did help. Anyway, I managed to politely decline the offer and thank her for her efforts. Then I hung up while she was talking. I had to protect her because she sounded like she was about to make one last offer. If I had stayed on the phone for that, I probably would have gone Sam Kinison on her and that’d just be mean.

Which leaves me to ask…what the hell is wrong with you people that make corporate decisions? When I called to cancel my account it was simply a step to save money while I tried to get some debt paid off. I fully intended to get the service back if I ever wanted a home phone again. But after that experience, Vonage, you can kiss my backside. I don’t deal with companies that refuse to fulfill a simple request without 30 minutes of arguing about it on the phone. You can keep your service. I’ll be using something more along the lines of Skype when I decide to hit up land lines again. Put that in your peace pipe and smoke it.

Apples aren’t all roses

Don’t get me wrong, I love my new iMac. It’s sleek, fast, and easy to use. Every program I use regularly at home on my Vista laptop has an OS X counterpart. But I do have a bone to pick with Jobs’ company about one thing. While the overall prices of the base models are in line with the cost of PC’s with similar specs…prices on the upgrades are somewhere in the realm of stupid.

Have you priced memory lately? The iMac uses PC2-5300 SODIMM RAM chips. I can buy 4GB of RAM (2x2GB sticks) for less than $80. I can get it for less than $65 if I don’t care about branding. So tell me, Apple, why does the 4GB upgrade cost $500?? Exactly what kind of crack are you smoking? Going from a 250GB to 500GB SATA HDD is an increase of $149. The retail cost difference is less than $30. As a matter of fact, a 3GB/s 500GB SATA HDD is less than $100. So tell me what the hell is wrong with you people?

I understand the basic concept of capitalism. I know that all companies are out to make money. But these prices aren’t reasonable. They aren’t acceptable. They’re insane and outrageous. I will gladly buy a new iMac when this one becomes too underpowered for what I want to do. But listen to me, Apple. I will not purchase any of the upgrades for my system from you as long as you insist on applying these ridiculous price gouging techniques. I know how to plug in a SODIMM chip so I will be buying my memory from Newegg.com which will save me over $400 and leave me a 1GB chip to toss into my Vista laptop.

It’s things like this that continue to perpetuate the idea that Apple is a pompous company that is entirely too full of itself. If you ever want to shake this image and quite possibly begin seriously eating into desktop marketshares…you have to change your pricing structure. Since you haven’t changed this downright idiotic pricing scheme, I can only assume some people are dumb enough to use your upgrade options. I won’t be one of them and neither will anyone I send your way to buy from you guys.

Nothing about the design of your systems is worth the “Upgrade Stupidity Tax” you guys impose. This is by far a much greater affront to me than the “Microsoft Tax” you pay when buying from another company. So wake up, Apple. Stop feeding the fire of the “fanboys”. Get your prices in line with the rest of the world and maybe, just maybe, you’ll find that you can sell more systems.

Castigations and Plagues

Alright, it’s time to get back to roots. I haven’t done a Rant in a long, long time. Welcome to the Real “SoapBoxRants”.

As I have said before, I am a Pagan. Before we go any further, go look up the definition. It means I am not Christian. It does not mean I worship Satan or sacrifice virgins. As a matter of fact, go over my previous religious rants to understand how many different ways my religion is like your religion. Now…moving on to tonight’s topic.

Why do people have a predisposition to be told what to think? What is it about the Human Race that leads the majority to follow the most charismatic person almost without question? Have we evolved so little over the millennia that we have not yet shed the shackles of our primitive tribal origins? Are we so insecure about our own existence that we need to be told by someone else that it is okay for us to be? It would seem that is the case. Much like my often mentioned Mother Culture, the Human Race almost inevitably turns to charismatic spiritual leaders and immediately takes things too far.

Take for example an email I received the other day from a devoutly Christian friend of mine. It talked about how we of the United States should boycott the new one dollar coins because of the exclusion of the phrase “In God We Trust”. I find it curious that such a movement in a country that touts its tolerance and acceptance of freedom of religion would gain ground. It almost reeks of cult brainwashing and that thought disturbs me greatly. All I have ever hoped for is to find that there are other free thinkers out there and yet at every turn I am confronted with more bigotry and prejudice. To make matters worse, these actions are justified by these people as being righteous indignation at the affront to their spiritual beliefs. It is as if they do not understand the true concept of religious freedom.

In this world, there are a myriad of religions. I would hazard that each and every one of them claims to have an exclusive insight into the understanding of whichever divine being brought forth this world and our Race. I do not claim to have such intimate divine knowledge personally so I cannot say which, if any, are correct in this claim. I do, however, take issue with any religion or practitioner of a religion that refuses basic respect and courtesy to any that have a differing belief. Just because it is different does not mean it is wrong or evil. It just means that it is not exactly like yours. There is knowledge to be gained through diversity.

And what exactly do I think about other religions? That is a wonderful question. If you were to, for argument’s sake, witness an automobile accident along with about twenty other people and all of you were interviewed by the officers that responded…you would probably get twenty-one different descriptions of what happened. In general they would touch the same high points but the details themselves would vary from one person to the next. I think the religions of the world are the same way. In general, they are all alike. They touch the same high points (like love and forgiveness) but differ in the details (like eating pork or resting on Sunday). We are all looking at the same Divine, just from a different angle than the person next to us.

And that goes for fellow practitioners of the same faith. Just because you share a religious label with someone does not mean you will have the exact same views on the Divine. I have always said that true faith and one’s relationship with the Divine is a very personal journey. Nobody will ever experience my religious path other than me. Some may share certain feelings or moments, but none will duplicate what I have inside. Remember that the next time you feel like pushing your views onto someone else. It will not matter what you try, we will never have that exact same moment that you remember with such fondness. Feel free to share your view, just do not attempt to make it my view. I will do the same.

This is one of the reasons I have such a fondness for Paganism. Wiccans and other Pagans are far more passive in the spreading of their religion. Our view is that those who are interested will seek us out and inquire. Our job is to answer the questions put forth to us. We will not attempt to convince you this is the correct path. We will simply share our knowledge and let you decide what is right for you and we will encourage you regardless of your decision. This is because we, for the most part, understand how personal this journey should be.

This is not to say that Paganism is a better path than a Buddhist or Judeo-Christian path. It is merely different. And I have to admit that there are some Pagans that will be pushy about converting just as there are Christians who are passive. There are no absolutes where Religion is concerned because Faith is kept by Humanity and Humanity varies greatly. All Religions run the gamut of tolerance and openness. But from my experience, Pagans tend more toward passiveness. I think all Religions would do well to re-examine their doctrines and true purpose and get back to the core of their teachings.

Religion is a good idea run amok. Mother Culture has twisted it into a series of extremes that galvanize the world into opposing factions causing chaos and disorder and war and pain. We speak of tolerance while we treat others with intolerance. We preach of love while we practice hate and war. We speak of forgiveness while harboring grudges against those that have wronged us. This is not what any of us were taught by our Religious texts. We have gone astray. We have taken Mother Culture’s path of self destruction. Before it is too late, we need to stop and return to the path we delude ourselves into thinking we are on.