Speaking on all things
Thanks to a tweet from rstevens, I’ve been introduced so some amusing but disturbing images. Some of these are really well done which makes them all the more creepy. The site is called ManBabies and it seems the premise is a picture with a man and a baby is Photoshopped to swap their heads. I found myself looking on further and further into the site much like one would stare at a train wreck. Some things you see are profoundly disturbing but you just can’t bring yourself to look away.
Enjoy ^_^
I’ve used Vonage as my home phone service for a couple of years now. They’ve been great. I only had one issue and that was back in February 2006 when I first switched and they were able to take care of the problem in a matter of moments. So the service has been wonderful. However, I use my cell phone exclusively now. As a matter of fact, the cordless phone I have connected to my Vonage router has been dead for about 4 or 5 months now. I just don’t use it any more. So why pay the $30 a month?
Thus I attempted to call Vonage last night to cancel this service. I am greeted with an obtuse voice menu. After fumbling through the different menu levels for a couple of minutes I finally find the place where I can cancel my account. The nice recording transfers me over to the department that deals with that…and I get a message with the office’s hours and a request to call back during normal operating hours. Nice.
So I call back today. This time I navigate the menu deftly and get a real person on the phone. He asks me for my name and phone number which I provide. He asks for permission to call me by my first name. Then he asks for my PIN. I don’t have a PIN. He looks at something and tells me that it was generated by their computer. I suggest they ask their computer what it is then because I don’t have it. So he asks me the security question on my account. Apparently I don’t know what my all time favorite movie is. (The Princess Bride for those that are curious.) So he asks some account details and finally concedes that I am actually me. Wonderful.
At this point he asks what it is that I want. I tell him that I want to cancel my account. I was actually surprised because he asked one or two basic questions and didn’t give me some big customer retention spiel that reeked of having been written by a used car salesman in an orange checkered suit. It really looked like I was finally dealing with a company that understood. Of course, he did ask why and I told him that the service was great and I would recommend it to my friends…I just don’t use it personally any more. Nothing more was asked to my further surprise. And then he hit me with it…”I just need to transfer you to another department to finalize the account cancellation. Please hold.”
I listen to hold music and some lady that is way too happy about what Vonage can do for phone service. Eventually a real person picks up. She asks me for my name and phone number which I provide. She asks for permission to call me by my first name. Then she asks for my PIN. Sound familiar? Yep. Apparently they have to verify your identity after putting you on hold. I can only assume that this is because of the threat of being abducted by aliens and replaced with a doppelganger while on hold. There must be some sort of epidemic like this going around. And of course we cannot have alien doppelgangers randomly canceling Vonage phone accounts. The impact of such a thing could throw the entire world into chaos and destruction.
So I go through all of the questions again. Finally she asks what I am calling for. Do these people not bother to forward information when they transfer a call? I understand the need to have in house verification done. I have no problem telling a second person “Yes, I did request to close my account and here’s why…” That’s fine. But don’t make me go through all the identification hoops repeatedly and start completely over every single time I’m put on freaking hold. But wait…it gets better. This lady is the passive aggressive customer retention ninja.
She makes an offer to give me a discount on the service. I decline. I even repeat my reason of not using the service. She replies with “I understand.” Then she offers me a free month. I decline. I reiterate that I only want to cancel the service. “I understand.” Another offer with a bigger discount for a longer period of time. I-
At this point I have to mention that I have been fairly patient even though I am a little irritated at having to start this whole process over after being transferred. Now…buckle your seatbelts kids…
“Lady, I really just want to cancel my account. I will not pay for a service I do not use anymore. I do not want a discount. I do not want a free month. I want this account closed. I want it done right now without any more delays or offers. If you think that might be too hard for you, put me through to your manager so I can get them to do it. And do so without putting me on hold because I am not going to start this whole story over because you guys think I might not be the same guy you talked to 15 seconds ago when you pressed the hold button.”
I know it sounds like I was being a real dick. And you’d be right. I was. But I figure after having proven my identity twice and telling the entire story twice and asking for this one thing over 8 times…I was entitled. Especially since she kept responding with that same phrase of “I understand.” She obviously did not understand because she kept making offers. I cannot abide stupidity. If the guy tells you that the only phone he has hooked up is a cordless and that the battery has been dead for 4 months because he doesn’t use the service…you aren’t going to convince him to stay. Just give it a rest and fulfill the damned request.
She did finally cancel my account. Then she asked if she could “help” me with anything else. Those quotes are not a sexual reference. I don’t really consider what she did help. Anyway, I managed to politely decline the offer and thank her for her efforts. Then I hung up while she was talking. I had to protect her because she sounded like she was about to make one last offer. If I had stayed on the phone for that, I probably would have gone Sam Kinison on her and that’d just be mean.
Which leaves me to ask…what the hell is wrong with you people that make corporate decisions? When I called to cancel my account it was simply a step to save money while I tried to get some debt paid off. I fully intended to get the service back if I ever wanted a home phone again. But after that experience, Vonage, you can kiss my backside. I don’t deal with companies that refuse to fulfill a simple request without 30 minutes of arguing about it on the phone. You can keep your service. I’ll be using something more along the lines of Skype when I decide to hit up land lines again. Put that in your peace pipe and smoke it.
Continuing my previous post, I thought I needed to compare the higher end Apple systems with something from Dell or HP. The problem is…they each only have like one high end workstation with dual Xeon processors. It took a fair amount of digging around to finally get something similar to the Mac Pro from HP and Dell, but I manage. Guess what, the Mac Pro still comes out as the cheaper system…let’s take a look:
Mac Pro – $3048
Dell Precision T5400 – $4197
Look at that. Over $1000 in price difference between the two systems and hardware wise they are nearly the same. Yes, I know the video cards are not exact but the upgrade price to higher end cards that are similar run about the same price so I opted to just not mess with changing those specs. If you are really that curious, feel free to go configure these yourself and compare. Personally, I can’t afford either system so I’m happy to just see something close for a comparison.
Oh, and trust me…you do not want to see the numbers I came up with on the HP build. After about an hour of poking around their site, I only found one dual CPU workstation and it started at over $5300. Granted, it had a few upgrades from what I quoted above, but not enough to justify another grand or so on top of the Dell build. But then, I’ve always known HP is far more overpriced than any other manufacturer out there as I have ordered well over a million dollars in HP servers and desktops and notebooks over my career.
Anyway, the point is this: Apple computers are not overpriced. The entire problem that causes the perpetuation of this misconception is that they do not have any true mid-range systems. You have the Mac Mini, the iMac, and the Mac Pro. All of these are at very different price points and capabilities and there isn’t much you can do to get something between them. They are not a Dell with 50 or 60 models to choose from before you get into bolting on upgrades. The beauty of this is the simplicity. The downside of this is the misconception that they charge too much.
Still to come…Macbook and Macbook Pro vs Dell
I’m the first to admit that Apple’s upgrade pricing is completely insane (though it has been toned down some since the iMac refresh). But I am so tired of hearing that Apple hardware is way overpriced for what you get. Quite to the contrary, Apple’s systems are right in line with similar systems from other manufacturers. Let’s compare the 20″ iMac with a Dell XPS all-in-one system and see what we get:
iMac – $1349
XPS – $1299
Now since the iMac has FireWire built in, a faster processor, better graphics, a dual layer DVD burner, and better bluetooth…I can understand a $50 price difference. I also consider Vista Home Premium to be a close equivalent to OSX Leopard with iLife in terms of tools and functionality. Vista has Media Center and OSX has FrontRow. Both offer similar (and for the record…similar does not mean identical) features and interfaces and both work with remotes (which you get with the iMac).
So tell me, how is Apple overpriced? Wait, let me guess…you think my comparison is bogus because the XPS isn’t exactly the same specs, right? Let’s see what happens when I choose a higher level for some improved hardware…
iMac – $1478
XPS – $1799
Oh, wait, there’s not option for a TV Tuner on an iMac. That must be the reason for the $321 price difference. And if you want to complain that iWork and Office aren’t reasonable counterparts, Office ’08 for Mac is only $149. So if you substitute that in place of the $79 iWork you would still only get a total of $1548 for the iMac leaving a difference of $251 between the systems. Surely that is explained by the TV Tuner which I can pick up at best buy for less than $100…right?
So get off the old and now invalid argument people. That was years ago. Apple is not this super expensive elitist computer manufacturer the hype makes it out to be. They make good systems that perform well running either OSX or Vista and in many cases run Vista better than machines from the other guys. For the price of the bulky and ugly XPS, I can get myself a sleek iMac and still have enough left over to buy a copy of Vista to run in BootCamp or Parallels. Think about that the next time you get ready to buy a machine.
[aka Revenge of the Sixth]
I dropped in a blurb yesterday about how Gina of Lifehacker met Wil Wheaton. She had a great picture of how he signed her book and had many nice things to say about the little bit of time she got to spend with him. While browsing around last night I decided to drop in on his blog (which I hate to admit…I haven’t been to in a while) and found that he had nothing but “the nicest thing in the universe” to say about Gina and Lifehacker (It’s about halfway down the post).
It’s like a mutual adoration club and that’s wonderful in my book. From the way Wil describes it, you would be hard pressed to decide who is the bigger fan of whom. We’ve always known Wil to be a geek’s geek and to just be a really nice and down to earth guy. But it really is great when you can see how true that statement is through things like this. And Wil, I wasn’t sure you could earn any more geek points, but that Portal reference just gave you double.
So I stumbled over this post at Lifehacker. Seems Gina got to meet Wil Wheaton…and he’s a huge fan. It just goes to show that not only is Wil a great guy and truly a geek’s geek, but the guy’s got taste. Lifehacker is probably one of my favorite sites in the internet and is so chocked full of information that I sometimes fear permanently fusing all of my synapses into a solid mass from the informational overload. And yet I cannot stop reading every new post like a kid with the latest issue of his favorite comic.
Swing by Lifehacker and check out the post if you are curious about what computers and software Wil uses on a regular basis. Oh…and don’t forget to look at how he signed Gina’s book, because the cake is a lie.
Just a quick update, all of the applications in the MacUpdate Parallels Bundle have been unlocked. That’s right, for 64.99 you can get Parallels with nine other apps. These are the full versions of said software and the cost is less than the price of Parallels alone. So, if you are in need of Parallels and think you might be interested in some of the other applications in the bundle, hurry over to MUPromo and snag a copy. Move fast, the bundle is only available for four more days.
Good Eats.
Alton Brown’s new book Feasting On Asphalt: The River Run is out and he made a book signing stop in Jackson today. Alton hosts several shows on The Food Network including Good Eats and Iron Chef America. He has added to this list a new show that he works on from time to time called Feasting on Asphalt. The first season he hopped on his motorcycle and cruised the backroads of America from the east coast to the west coast. Along the way he discovered lots of down home diners that hearken back to the “good ole days” of going out to eat. With the success of that he went on and did a second season where he started down in Louisiana and rode his way up the mighty Mississippi River looking for more of those hidden gems of dining.
Now I have lived in Mississippi all of my life and I am a huge fan of Alton’s shows. So when I heard yesterday that he would be in town to sign his new book … well I left work early and spent about four hours at Lemuria Books to have a moment with my culinary hero. As a matter of fact, I had three. The first of which threw me off balance just a bit. I was waiting in my spot in line well outside the doors of the bookstore and he came walking up while I was talking with the guy next to me. Alton put on that quirky smile and asked, “What are all of these people here for?” Now because I was in mid conversation and I didn’t actually look up to see who spoke, my mouth kicked in before my conscious brain picked up what my eyes saw. So I just grinned and blurted out, “We’re waiting on you.” He chuckled and said, “Oh, really?” and walked away before I realized what just happened. Once he was a few feet away it hit me that I just had a witty moment with Alton Brown.
Fortunately I had plenty of time to wait before I finally got up to him to get my books signed. By then I had calmed down a bit and got a chance to mention to him that the Old Country Store in Lorman, Mississippi is a place I know well because I have family there. We exchanged a few cursory pleasantries while he signed the books and then I turned around to hand my phone to someone so I could get a picture. Behind me was a small herd of children that all appeared to be less than 10 years old. Not wanting to hold up the line, I just stepped down with the taste of bitter disappointment that I would not have anything more than a few drops of Sharpie ink and my questionable memory to preserve this moment. Then it occurred to me that I am a stubborn individual that will accomplish what I set out to do.
Since I knew about a dozen people in line and one of the ladies that works at the bookstore, I hung around chatting until the line finally dwindled down to about 6 people. I took my spot at the end of the line, fair is fair after all, and eventually wandered back up to him. When I stepped up he said, “You again?” in that funny exaggerated way he has. So I told him I didn’t get my picture because of the gaggle of small children behind me. He laughed and said, “They kind of freaked you out, didn’t they?” I agreed and he said, “They kind of freaked me out too.” He had made several comments throughout the signing about his amazement at the sheer amount of progeny he encountered at this signing. So with that I finally got my picture with my greatest hero and a wonderful memory of how I met him. Like AB says…”You’re patience will be rewarded.”
And let me add…OMG!!!!
MacUpdate is currently running a software bundle special. The MUPromo bundle has 10 full versions of shareware apps for the price of 64.99. Most notable is Parallels Desktop. This is the application that lets you run Windows in a virtual space inside of OS X. Other applications include handy tools from file management to programs that integrate iCal into your menu bar clock. Now, since the total cost for these applications separately would run somewhere over $250, one might wonder if there is a catch. Well, the answer is yes and no.
Yes there is a catch of sorts. Three of the applications are “locked”. That is, they do not come with the license keys for the full versions. What happens is that as more of these bundles are sold, these applications become “unlocked” and everyone that has purchased the bundle get the license key sent to them for the full version. Once 5,000 are sold, Sound Studio will be unlocked. Then you get BannerZest at 10,000 and finally Parallels at 15,000. This should not be a deterrent to getting the package. On the contrary, it should encourage everyone with a Mac to pick up the bundle.
As I am making my daily journey through the blogosphere, I ran across a post on Lifehacker about streamlining your wallet. The idea has some merit. The gist is that you put all of the barcode numbers for the 9083742987 rewards cards you have on your cell phone so you can remove a metric ton of useless paper and plastic from your wallet or purse. It has some promise but I feel it is too cumbersome to fumble through my address book for all these numbers and then have to type them in or read them out to a clerk who is most likely bored with life in general. After all, I am not putting my phone in their hands.
So while reading through the comments on the article somebody mentioned Just One Club Card. Now this is a great idea. I can take eight cards and turn them into one. Simply fill out the form and click submit. Print the resulting page which has your new card on it and there you go. Cut it out, laminate it, and toss those originals in the junk drawer. The site has a pretty impressive collection of stores in the list that you can add to your card and you can send in a request for new ones to be added if one you want is not listed.
There isn’t a lot to the site on the visual side, but then you aren’t going to go there for the eye candy. It appears they are working on adding more bar code types which will allow other cards to be condensed. In case you weren’t aware, there are more than a handful of different bar code styles. Some of them are only subtly different but the differences are enough to really screw things up if you use the wrong type.
With an 8:1 compression ratio on my cards (most of which make my keyring qualify as a lethal weapon), I can say that this is definitely a tool worth checking out.